tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-387233522024-03-08T10:48:09.963+08:00Quærite Dominumquaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.comBlogger74125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-30318392485052420892023-06-21T03:51:00.003+08:002023-06-21T03:58:47.512+08:00Feeling utterly alone<p> It's been more than ten years since that fateful day when everything in my life changed. Eleven years of my life wasted, due to a debilitating condition that has left me in poor health. Not only that, but I am now diabetic.</p><p>I've watched people I know and who once knew me become middle-aged adults, but I'm still stuck somehow in my late twenties/early thirties. Life somehow came to a standstill in 2012, and I haven't really progressed since, even perhaps taking retrogressive steps. Not much has happened in my life, save for returning to education (can you imagine, I'm still an undergad at my age! decent grades, but I'm stilll an undergad delaying graduation,!), hoping that it will equip me for when things might turn around in my life.</p><p>I haven't posted on this blog in years, and I suppose that because so many people have forgotten that I even exist or have tucked me away in some distant country, shoved in a closet, that probably nobody will read this. Nobody will ever notice. And I gather that because I am not worth noticing, I can say what I please on this blog. </p><p>I feel like a prisoner in my own home, and I haven't really been out in years. You'd be surprised that I'm still in Northern California. I haven't seen anyone in years. I haven't really talked to anyone in years. Little by little, people I once knew just simply walked out of my life. Family members even turned away, and I just can't help that everyone would rather I just disappeared or died. I don't think anyone loves me. I don't think there will ever be love in my life. I just feel utterly alone in this world, and despite how much love I can give to the world, I feel as if it will never love me back. And I just wonder, why? Why is my existence such suffering and misery? I so desperately want to live, to have someone pay attention to me, because I've been so ignored by everyone else as if I'm not there. And even if I did get the attention, I'm a shadow of my former self. I have no face to show anyone, because I've been so humiliated and trampled upon that I have no pride or self-esteem. People would judge me and regard me now with such contempt, y'know. I have no confidence in myself anymore. I'm totally embarrassed by the way my life has been I'd like to do things with my life, go places, achieve, but realistically, I've been so ruined and damaged it would take a miracle to lift me up from the hell I'm in. </p><p>Does God care? I don't know. It does feel like people mock the fact I still have faith in a loving God who cares. But I'm not sure now. I really do wish someone would love me. I really wish God could love me. I've had so little of it in my life. I don't have anyone in the world, not even my family. Even my parents have never given me the love and encouragement I needed during the lowest points in my life.</p><p>Because I'm not toxically unburdening myself on someone, because I'd hate to do that, I just might post more here about my sad, pathetic existence. </p><p>Imagine, there is so much for others to gloat about as I struggle on, but I've learnt that compassion is rare, and to never expect it from anyone. </p>quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-7340155731678485722017-06-25T23:08:00.003+08:002017-06-25T23:29:21.070+08:00If this wretched physical illness should take me, I hope that upon my death, the seed of empathy and compassion will germinate in those who didn't believe me and stood idly by.quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-74423974827415508842016-03-22T00:00:00.000+08:002018-01-09T15:59:00.141+08:00Dignity <div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I think every human has a point wherein
she or he will activate a “self-preservation mode” to save what
dignity she or he has left. I am activating that “mode”, if I can
call it such, now.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Many of you have known me prior to the
incident on 23 June 2012. Since that date, I have progressed
emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually for the worse. I
am not the same Joshua you once knew. I have mentally unravelled to
the point that some of you can no longer recognise me. In comparing
myself now with who I was then, I was very stable, quite independent,
more confident, more patient, and very articulate. As I can no longer
rely on the skills that have carried me through, simple tasks have
become challenging.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Despite my hopes, prayers, and dreams
that I will recover from my illness, I have gradually come to realise
that like a dream, who I was then is gone. Who I was then is now dead
and I will progressively become worse. Any hope I have for justice
and for healing is now lost – I cannot be helped. And I know some
of the dreams I have (including some of the dreams I ramble about on
Twitter) realistically can never be fulfilled. Gradually I will lose
my wits and become more childlike, more dim, and more reliant on
others.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Life has dealt me a heavy blow: I must
accept my fate and bear it with dignity, bravery, and courage. I
suppose that in accepting the God of Calvin I must not resist what
has been done to me, but rather order myself lowly and humbly,
surrendering and resigning myself to what I hope is God's mercy. If I
must walk through hell on earth, I must do so with my head held high.
I can choose to see myself as the victim and wallow in self-pity or
choose to see myself as the victor. In choosing the latter, I must
overcome my emotions and grit my teeth through what I know will be
challenging for me in later years. I survived infancy
beyond anyone's expectations, I have survived taunts in my adolescence,
car accidents, slippery showers, food poisoning, a rape and an
attempt on my life in my adult years, yet I am still here. And
despite humiliation, insult, and injury, I have trudged on.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I hope that whilst there is time, that
is, whilst I have my wits, I can live joyfully, seizing every moment
before I descend further into mental darkness and physical illness. I
know not whether my time with you will be long or short, but I pray
God make it meaningful. But as time progresses, I will become become
more eruptive in expressing my thoughts, less patient, unreasonable,
less discriminating about the information I share, and more
infantile. I know some of you will turn your backs on me. And I know
it's not because you hate me, but rather you can't bear to see the
gradual loss of the friend you once knew. Please remember the good
times we shared. I hope when you think of me they will only be happy
memories. But as I confront my future, I will do my best to affirm
life and to maintain composure throughout. I have no strength to
fight anymore.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I am what I am: I am the sum of my
ancestors. As life continues in revolution, I can only persist with
head unbowed save only to the One before whom all must bow and obey.
Sometimes we pay a heavy price for who we are. But difficult as it
may seem when beset by so much traumatic change, I can only extend
grace, compassion, and forgiveness. I must faithfully carry on with
pride, dignity, and integrity.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Because I know who I am and I know what
my duty is. God help me, because I can place my trust in no other.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
But if I have only one regret, it is solely that I did not live life to the fullest prior to that fateful day in the summer of 2012. I could have done so much good with my life. Indeed, I could have accomplished great things. Alas, it was not meant to be. </div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i><br />
</i></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i>Have thine own way, Lord, have thine own way. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. </i></div>
quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-78331641806223682262016-02-13T13:17:00.000+08:002016-02-13T13:24:16.463+08:00On revenge<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
"Justice is the constant and perpetual desire to give to each one that to which he is entitled. Jurisprudence is the knowledge of matters divine and human, and the comprehension of what is just and what is unjust."</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Institutes</i>, Bk. 1, title 1.</blockquote>
Several times in our lives we will
entertain thoughts of revenge. It feels satisfying to somehow give
someone their “due” as if it will make us better people. But
vengeance is a paltry salve for a deep, festering emotional wound or
injury. One could say it is a small bandage over a large gash. And
it's not okay to leave it at that. One must clean the emotional wound
and apply a “poultice” of love and care to draw the bitterness
and emotional toxins out.<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At least in my experience, the desire
for vengeance stems from a sense of powerlessness. In receiving
emotional trauma, one succumbs to the dominance of another and is
left feeling inadequate or inferior. For many of us, including
myself, we are already conditioned to submit to the authority of
another, sometimes because of race. Members of my own family would
shrirk back in fear when their white bosses scolded them and this left an
impression on me that remains with me today – the tears, drunken
complaints, or angry shouts when a parent or a relative comes home
from a hard day's work. Growing up in the Filipino American
community, I was told not to play with white children, despite being
part white myself, as white people were litigation-prone, and should
anything happen to their child, they'd sue. When Filipinos are caught
in a dispute with a white person or an Asian of another ethnic group,
they feel bound to let the other win, believing somehow that in
gracious defeat and outward obeisance, things may be a little better
than losing everything.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
And lest anyone think it is solely a
racial or cultural “thing”, Filipinos hurt fellow Filipinos too,
sometimes to the point of abuse and even slavery or exploitation. Colonial mentality has been cited many times as the malaise
afflicting post-colonial Filipinos; this is an example <i>par excellence</i>. As justice must be tempered with mercy, so can power and authority be abused instead of tempered with justice. Colonial mentality is not always the conditioned inferiority we show to others because of race, but rather the desire to oppress, to steal, to kill, and to destroy because we have no other example but what has been handed down to us by oppressors. </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
So whilst we may cower in fear, in the
storerooms and backs of restaurants, in the janitor closets and maid
lounges, in break rooms and offices, we commiserate in our bitterness, swallowing it in, allowing
the poisons of anger and hatred to cloud our judgments and give rise
to delusions of dominance. Again, whilst it feels good temporarily,
it makes us no better than those who hurt us. Meeting dominance with
dominance simply replaces an oppressor with another oppressor. The
cycle repeats. An injustice cannot be met with another injustice.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
There is an oft-quoted maxim that
“Equity delights in equality.” In what ways do we deem ourselves
inferior or superior to others? In what ways do we deem others
inferior or superior to ourselves? Is it racial, cultural, related to
gender or sexual orientation, or perhaps even religious? And here's the tough question, in what ways can we forgive AND assert our
human dignity without degrading the human dignity of the other?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I don't think vengeance is the way. I
admit forgiveness is something I'm working hard on, but failing
miserably at. Perhaps forgiveness is something you are working at
too. It is a healing process. It doesn't help when we are told to
forgive continuously by those who hurt us. In the backs of our minds,
our torturers will get away because of privilege or won't be brought
to justice. And it's alright to feel angry at inequity, inequality,
and injustice. But it's not alright to let that anger become and
consume us. Somehow, we must allow God's grace to transform and
transmute our hurt and anger to pursue the ends of justice:
Compassion, love, and charity. By such reparations, a moral debt - an obligation - is
extinguished and reconciliation achieved. And that, I believe, is justice. </div>
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Pray for me as I pray for you. God
bless you, and may we share God's blessing. Amen. </div>
quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-65025998272015396332015-10-21T04:00:00.000+08:002015-10-21T05:02:24.871+08:00On Inter-Asian RacismWhen I was in high school, I was accused of something that was taken out of context by a white teacher. Now, I'm not against employing white teachers in areas that happen to be majority Asian, but there must be some effort on part of teachers to understand their students, the dynamics, and the community wherein they live.<br />
<br />
I grew up in Milpitas, which transformed from a majority-white town to a majority-Asian city with sizable white and Latino minorities. There a paradigm shift between old and new, and a cultural 'battle' between the descendants of Anglo-Celtic, Spanish, Mexican, Portuguese settlers and its new Asian residents. Of course, some Asian residents weren't that new, as a sizable Asian minority did live in Milpitas back then. Some white residents were blatant: "Asians are taking over" or "Go back to Asia". Whilst some were bitter and angry, I cannot forget those who did welcome Asian and Latino groups with open arms - churches and hospitals began offering more services in Vietnamese, Mandarin, Spanish, Tagalog, and Cantonese; whites began to speak Asian languages and Spanish - to cite examples.<br />
<br />
Indeed, Asians aren't one cohesive group - we are different ethnic groups, of different religions, languages, and cultures. The 'orientalizing' factor projected by some is a product of a Western mindset that seeks to objectify the 'other' as 'foreign' and un-American. I have been a victim of this, and many of my fellow students then were - having been subjected to the assumptions of teachers who told us, mostly Asian students with American passports, "that's not how we do it in this country" or "that's not the American way".<br />
<br />
I happened to be a student right when Asian students would be the majority in Milpitas schools. Into this pan-Asian mix were also entrenched community rivalries from the 'Old World'. It's not crude to call it racism. If Anglo-Americans could bully Irish-Americans, bringing old prejudices from Europe to the 'New World', certainly Asians can do it to Asians. It was and is racism. And it's not fair when racism is projected on another who is used as a convenient scapegoat.<br />
<br />
Of course, once I tell you this, there will be some who won't believe me - I can't blame them. But it is a memory that haunts me to this day.<br />
<br />
There are wonderful things about Chinese culture and there are wonderful things about Filipino culture - but as prejudice against Filipinos and other minorities in China must stop, so must prejudice against Chinese and other minorities in the Philippines cease. The same pattern can be found all over Asia - a harbored prejudice toward minorities similar to South African xenophobia. That isn't to say that some Chinese Filipinos don't have prejudices against the Philippine majority as some Filipino Chinese have their own prejudices against the Han majority in China.<br />
<br />
But let me get to the point: I am a mixed-race Filipino. I have indigenous Malay, Chinese, Spanish, Portuguese, and Sephardic Jewish blood flowing in my veins. And when I told two pure-blooded Chinese students, Jason Lau and Jennie Chen, to stop bullying me, even citing a Chinese aunt, who said such racist behavior is 'disgraceful', I was assaulted and battered in an empty brass section room, punched and held to the wall by the neck. (He was tall and I was/still am short, so I was effectively being choked.) Another student, Peter Neddersen, walked in and Mr. Lau promptly stopped.<br />
<br />
I ran to the color guard room and wept for an hour - I was excused from band class by the instructor, but only told the instructor, Chris Kaldy, that I had been battered. After class, Mr. Lau and Miss Chen, yelled at me, saying that my tears were only to make them look bad. But that wasn't the case. I was severely traumatized.<br />
<br />
The next day, I received a referral notice - which is a disciplinary notice - for suspension. On it, Mr. Kaldy had written that I had told Mr. Lau and Miss Chen that I called them a disgrace and that it was a racist remark on my part. Mr. Lau and I were sent to the assistant principal's office where Mr. Lau made it appear as if it he were defending his girlfriend's honor. I defended myself, saying it was not my intent to be racist. Racism was then projected on me, and I couldn't defend myself sufficiently, even though I was only the mixed-race messenger for another Chinese person's admonition. I knew Mr. Kaldy and the assistant principal (whose name I do not remember) wouldn't understand the dynamics of Chinese-Filipino relations and how these were and are also played in American communities.<br />
<br />
Obviously, in many ways, the Philippines was and is the weaker player in the Asian region; China (the PRC and Taiwan) is economically powerful. For many Californian communities, Chinese Americans and other Asian Americans are more dominant socioeconomically; this is why Filipino Americans requested a separate box on forms in California as they would be underrepresented by other Asians.<br />
<br />
Filipinos have been discriminated by Chinese (in both China and the Philippines) as dumb, ignorant, subservient, dark-skinned 'dogs of Western masters', fit only for servile tasks. In the Philippines, Chinese have been portrayed as corrupt, immoral gangsters who only want money at the expense of conscience. Of course, these are stereotypes. However, Chinese and Whites do have privilege in the Philippines, and unsurprisingly this can sometimes play out in interracial or inter-Asian community relations in the United States.<br />
<br />
I refused to serve the sentence of suspension and my parents approved of my action. When a parental conference was called to resolve the matter, my parents adamantly refused to attend, knowing that it would be manipulated again to place all the blame on me. I didn't serve the sentence, but I'm pretty sure the referral remained (and remains) as a blot on my school record.<br />
<br />
After all, it was unbelievably unfair. While I was to receive punishment (which I didn't serve), Mr. Lau would escape (not to mention that he smiled at me as he walked out of the assistant principal's office) scot-free even if he assaulted and battered me. Mr. Lau knew he was in the wrong and did everything he could to make it appear that I deserved to be battered and harmed.<br />
<br />
Did this experience embitter me against Chinese people? No, absolutely not. I think the opposite happened, as my appreciation for my partial Chinese ancestry deepened. Being multi-racial is a multi-faceted blessing - one has a variety of cultural sources to draw upon. The majority of Chinese people are good people - indeed they are part of my family. And because of my family that I can stand proud in the knowledge that I am right, even though I was falsely accused.<br />
<br />
So does it help to have a judge who is so far removed from the context that impartiality becomes a hindrance to justice? Justice isn't that blind.quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-11727371067825913492014-11-03T14:44:00.001+08:002014-11-03T14:50:19.783+08:00Prayers to Saint DwynwenIn the Name of the Father, + and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.<br />
<br />
O Blessed Saint Dwynwen, you who knew pain and peace, division and reconciliation, you have promised to aid lovers and you watch over those whose hearts have been broken. As you received three boons from an angel, intercede for me to receive three blessings; to obtain my heart's desire [<i>here you may mention a name</i>] or, if that is not God's will, a speedy healing from my pain; your guidance and assistance, that I may find love with the right person, at the right time, and in the right way; and an unshakable faith in the boundless kindness and wisdom of God. And this I ask in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.<br />
<br />
Saint Dwynwen, <i>we </i>beseech you: Comfort lovers whose vision is unclear. Send mending to those with love lost. Protect <i>our</i> companions. In your name <i>we</i> seek to do the same. In your name <i>we </i>choose love first. With the love of you, Mary and of Jesus Christ. Amen.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small; font-style: italic;">Recite one </span><span style="font-size: x-small;">Paternoster<i>, </i>Avemaria<i>, Gloria Patri, </i></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">and</span><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span><span style="font-size: x-small; font-style: italic;">Trisagion.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>Saint Dwynwen, pray for us.<br />
<br />
+ The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with us all evermore. Amen.quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-76503693063541568132014-10-29T15:05:00.006+08:002014-10-29T18:18:34.657+08:00An Innovative Double-Arras (Wedding Coins) Ceremony<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">There are two traditional ways of performing the ceremony. I have dispensed with both. Dribbling coins into each other's hands is quite risky (dropping coins is seen as bad luck) and </span></i><i>the cleric and partners </i><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">passing the coins among themselves seems to be outdated. Instead, I have created an 'arras-exchange ceremony' wherein both partners commit to a life of stewardship. </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">After the ring ceremony, two trays, boxes, or pouches/purses of coins are
brought to the altar. The Celebrant may say </span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
All things come from you, O Lord.<br />
<b>And of your own, we give you.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Celebrant blesses the coins, using one of these two forms.</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;">A long form for the blessing of the wedding coins</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
We give you thanks, O Father, for all your blessings:<br />
For the bounty of gifts, talents, and knowledge;<br />
for values, wisdom, experience, and expertise;<br />
for reason, memory, and skill; <br />
and for who we are and what we bring in offering.<br />
Bless + these coins, O Lord,<br />
as signs of the spiritual and temporal blessings <br />
wherewith you enriched N and N;<br />
and as they commit themselves to a life of stewardship,<br />
daily renew in them the choicest gifts in your Holy Spirit,<br />
and grant them the abundance of your grace, <br />
a spirit of generosity and hospitality,<br />
and such creativity, inspiration, and compassion,<br />
that they may sanctify, use, and multiply these gifts<br />
to the advancement of your Kingdom and the spread of the Gospel,<br />
and to the attainment of everlasting life.<br />
through Jesus Christ our Lord. <b>Amen.</b> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>A short form for the blessing of the wedding coins</b>
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Bless + these coins, O Lord,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">as signs of the spiritual and temporal blessings </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">wherewith you enriched N and N;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">and as they commit themselves to a life of stewardship,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">grant them the abundance of your grace, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">that they may use and multiply these gifts</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">to the attainment of everlasting life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">through Christ our Lord. <b>Amen.</b> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
<i>The Celebrant may say</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
N and N, be good and faithful stewards of each other and of God’s gifts. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Each partner gives the other the coins, and repeats these words after the Celebrant</span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
N, I give you these coins as a pledge of my dedication and concern
for your welfare, and as a sign of my commitment to our marriage, in the Name of the Father, and the Son, and of the
Holy Spirit. Amen. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">Each partner may respond, saying after the Celebrant</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">N, I accept these coins, and the dedication, love, and support you offer, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">If desired, a symbolic tithe from each each box, tray, or pouch/purse may be given to the Celebrant.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">The service continues with the Pronouncement. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-family: inherit;">Joshua Ligan 2014.</span></strong></div>
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<a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.5/" rel="license"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img alt="Creative Commons License" src="http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nc/2.5/88x31.png" style="border-width: 0px;" /></span></a></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: inherit;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
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quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-59478392663551629562014-10-26T04:53:00.003+08:002014-10-26T14:37:32.526+08:00On the middle finger <div class="MsoNormal">
In 3<sup>rd</sup> grade I sat at my desk reading a ditto.
Across from me sat a classmate named Freddy Goerlitzer. It’s odd that I still
remember his name. We quietly began our seatwork, and reading the instructions,
I pointed the words out with my middle finger. Freddy saw this, raised his hand,
and yelled, “Mrs. Rode, Mrs. Rode, Josh stuck out his middle finger! Josh stuck
out his middle finger!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Outraged, Mrs. Rode bellowed, “In the hall... NOW!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was shocked. What had I done? What was so wrong about pointing
with the middle finger?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My name was written on the chalkboard, and I was given a thorough
berating in the hall. “I know you come from a Christian family, and this, with
all your knowledge of the love of God, is totally unexpected. I am disappointed
in you.” She wagged a finger in my face, continued berating my Christian
background and my family, and told me how bad I was for pointing with my middle
finger. Freddy also accused me of pointing it at him. The tip of my finger may
have been pointed in his direction, but it lacked the intent of insult or
non-verbal injury to his <i>dignitas</i> and
<i>fama</i>. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now that I think about it, I actually feel sorry for Mrs.
Rode. What was her problem with the Church and Christians? But I digress.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my shock, I stood there in the hall with my mouth agape,
not knowing if I should defend myself. I didn’t ask what I did wrong or what
pointing the middle finger meant. I was totally clueless, but she presumed I
knew what that gesture meant. She had never bothered to ask if I knew the
meaning. And I simply accepted her
verdict.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do come from a good Christian family, and an immigrant
family at that, and they did not teach me the idiosyncrasies of American body
language. For many Asian American families, the home is practically a cultural
capsule. Step inside, and one is in the old country. Step outside, and one is in the United States. The language spoken at home may be English, sometimes with another language mixed in, but culturally one remains in the old country. I was this sheltered from the realities of American life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For many East Asians, pointing the middle finger has only
begun to take on the American meaning. Many still point at
things (although it is more polite to use one’s hand or a full swoop of a
hand), words, and even people with their middle finger. I shudder when an old
lady points to something with her middle finger at the supermarket, because I remember
that moment the cultural barrier came down when as a child. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That day, I went home, cried, and told my parents what happened at
school. My mother, being a devout Protestant, blankly looked at me as I told
her I was scolded for pointing with my middle finger. Flummoxed, she asked my
father, “Whatever does that mean?” In a hushed tone, my father, also a devout
Protestant who lived in the fear of an ever-watching Almighty God, whispered,
“It means ‘Fuck you’.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We all gasped over tea. My Roman Catholic aunt choked on her
tea and violently coughed. “<i>Aba, yung ang
</i>meaning?” Lo, is that the meaning? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But something I do wish my parents had done was to speak to
my teacher. They did nothing to confront an injustice. We let someone
else define who I am. We accepted her truth. And I’m not going to say it was a racist incident. It was
simply a cultural misunderstanding. This is American multiculturalism. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes, it makes me shudder. Is this how badly we think
of other people? Have we, as an American people, become so judgmental that we
transmit our negativity to others? Do we assume the worst of others? Are we that inclined to think of others so unjustly? When did the
presumption of innocence cease as an American cultural value? Or are we
entitled to galloping around the village on a witch-hunt?</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That day, among many days throughout my childhood, was a day
when my eyes were opened. I had lost a bit of my own innocence. Sometimes, I wish
never had. </div>
quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-12461213403852651722013-09-19T04:17:00.001+08:002014-10-30T14:54:39.135+08:00A lost world: What happened to Hindu-Buddhist, Animist Philippines?<div class="MsoNormal">
When the Spaniards came to the Philippines, they halted the
spread of Islam already taking root with the governing class. Although Islam
was already entrenched on parts of the southern Island of Mindanao, the people
of Luzon and the Visayas still clung to traditional beliefs as their rulers
began flirting with Islam. Decades later, after the arrival of the Spaniards,
the Islands were almost entirely Roman Catholic. The majority of the people, as
subjects of the Crown of Spain, were won for the Cross of Christ.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before colonization, Filipinos worshipped<i> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anito">anitos</a></i>, nature
spirits called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diwata%E2%80%8E"><i>diwatas</i></a>, and a variety of Hindu-Buddhist entities such as the
goddess <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saraswati%E2%80%8E">Saraswati</a>, the bodhisattva <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avalokite%C5%9Bvara%E2%80%8E">Avalokitesvara</a> (in his Indic male form, not <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guanyin">Guanyin</a>,
the Chinese female form), the bodhisattva <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tara_(Buddhism)">Tara</a>, and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinnara%E2%80%8E">Kinnari</a>. Hindu and Buddhist
statues have been found all over the Philippines, attesting to the links the
Islands had with the South Asian region, China, the Srivijaya Empire, and the Majapahit
Empire. Sanskrit words entered many Filipino languages – a telltale sign
that Hinduism and Mahayana Buddhism (treated as one religion) had taken root instead of Theravada
Buddhism. (Theravada Buddhism uses Pali as a liturgical language.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>So what happened to the traditions of Hindu-Buddhist, Animist Philippines?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I believe many of the pre-colonial traditions survive under
the guise of Folk Catholicism. Many Filipino Roman Catholics,
Anglicans (Episcopalians), and Aglipayans don’t realize that some of these
traditions unique to Filipino Christianity, are actually of so-called Pagan
origin. Many Christian liturgical traditions are, so it is nothing but a
continuing tradition of adaption, inculturation, and renewal of the old. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ancestral traditions are pretty difficult to shake off. The early Filipino Catholics might have
simply adapted these old traditions, or creative Spanish Friars might have
adapted Christian liturgical tradition to fill the vacuum left by the
abandonment of traditional beliefs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These old traditions may have survived when Filipino Catholics light votive candles and lightly tap the flame or wave a hand over it, then make a
sign of the cross. This is similar to actions done in Hindu<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puja_(Hinduism)%E2%80%8E"> <i>pujas</i> </a>(<i>aarti</i>) and worship
of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agni%E2%80%8E">Agni</a>, the fire god.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These traditions may have survived when devotees wave
candles at the statue of the Sovereign Christ Child in the <i>Sinulog</i>, a
traditional devotional dance. This is similar to the act of waving candles
in front of a statue in a Hindu <i>puja</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These traditions may have survived in the Filipino Catholic devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary, as a replacement for Saraswati, Tara, and
the various moon and sea goddesses worshipped all over the archipelago.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These traditions may have survived as every Holy Week, Filipino Catholics chant the story of salvation and redemption, from the Creation to the story of the
early Church, in a practice called <i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pabasa_(ritual)">Pabasa </a></i>(literally ‘reading’) or <i>Pasyon</i> ('Passion').
This is similar to the chanting of Hindu epics such as the <i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramayana%E2%80%8E">Ramayana </a></i>(which survives
in non-Christian Filipino minorities). Ethnomusicologists have found that the
traditional tunes, although now Hispanized, are pre-colonial in origin. These
tunes still contain melismas reminiscent of classical Indian, Sundanese, Javanese,
and Balinese music. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These traditions may have survived in the<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obando_Fertility_Rites%E2%80%8E"> fertility dances</a>
many Philippine women perform for the Blessed Virgin Mary and a myriad of saints.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These traditions may have survived as Filipino Catholics hang
garlands of <i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jasminum_sambac%E2%80%8E">sampaguita</a></i> on crucifixes, statues of Jesus, the Blessed Virgin
Mary, and the saints. Floral offerings may look like traditional Balinese floral offerings. Palm leaves are also woven into many shapes like crosses, monstrances, chalices, churches, and these are blessed on Palm Sunday.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These traditions may have survived as Filipino Catholics wash statues with
<i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florida_Water">Agua de Florida</a></i>, <i><a href="http://www.fragrantica.com/perfume/Alvarez-Gomez/Agua-de-Colonia-Concentrada-6322.html">Agua de Colonia</a></i>, rose water, or orange flower water, and vest them
with miniature copes. This practice is similar to the bathing of Buddha on his
birthday with sweetened tea or perfumed water, and how many Buddhists clothe
statues of the bodhisattva <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ksitigarbha%E2%80%8E">Ksitigarbha</a>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These traditions may have survived as Filipino Catholics ask their
ancestors (as part of the communion of saints) to intercede for them, that they
might be made worthy of the promises of Christ. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These traditions may have survived as more traditional
Filipino Catholics place food on a plate for visiting ancestors on Christian holy days
(so that the dead might dine with the living), or offer food, fruit, flowers, and
candles before pictures of the deceased on their death anniversaries. Another
reminder of the communion of saints - the Church Triumphant, the Church Suffering/Aspirant,
and the Church Militant. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These traditions may have survived as flagellants
literally crucify themselves on Good Friday in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Pedro_Cutud_Lenten_Rites">rites </a>reminiscent of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thaipusam">Thaipusam</a>.
Medieval European Christians might have whipped themselves, but some modern day
Filipinos are nailed on crosses – quite extreme.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These traditions may have survived as Filipino Catholics place a basket
of exotic fruit on the family altar and dining tables at New Year’s. Mind you, “exotic" fruit in the Filipino sense might mean apples, pears, grapes, peaches, and
cherries. Growing up in the Filipino American community, New Year’s fruit
offerings consisted of mangoes, papayas, granadillas, mangosteen, lychees,
soursop, pomegranates, coconuts, and longans – exotic in the Western sense.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These traditions may have survived as Filipino Catholics still
show respect to old trees (particularly banyan trees – venerated in
pre-colonial Philippines) in the vicinity, believing a <i>diwata</i> dwells there. The
<i>Paternoster</i>, <i>Ave Maria</i>, or <i>Trisagion </i>might be said whilst passing by, or the
sign of the cross might be made. Others might leave an offering of sweet rice cakes and arrack. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These traditions may have survived in the form of <i>San Nicolas</i>
cookies, which are arrowroot shortbread biscuits shaped in a form that looks akin to a
Buddha or a <i>Kinnari</i>. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These traditions may have survived as processions of saints
visit homes during fiestas, and when devotees wave scented handkerchiefs as
processions pass by.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And because of my High Church Anglicanism, some of these traditions comfortably survive
with me – nothing too extreme that my grandmother might have done. For example,
I lightly touch the flame after lighting a candle and make the sign of the
cross. Every Easter and New Year’s I open the all the doors and windows to let
the morning light in, and recite the <i>Paternoster</i> in every room. At sunrise, I
might go outside, close my eyes, and feel the morning sunshine on my face. I ask my baptized ancestors to stand beside me
and encourage me. I leave floral offerings and fruit to statues of the Blessed
Virgin Mary, and vest her every May. I sprinkle gravestones with holy water or
scented water when I visit my ancestors.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t imagine abandoning what has been cherished for
generations.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I believe the story that best captures the triumph of Christianity and the adaptation of pre-colonial tradition is the story of the dancing <i>Santo Niño de Cebú</i>. The Spaniards left the statue of the Christ Child with the Queen, only to be placed among non-Christian <i>anitos</i> and deities. People began to revere the statue of the Christ Child simply as another<i> anito</i>, and miracles were wrought among them. One day, one of Rajah Humabon's advisers was gravely ill. He was placed on a bed to lie in front of the Christ Child. A few hours later, a racket could be heard from the hut, and Rajah Humabon rushed thereto, to find his adviser standing and shouting, whole and completely well. Rajah Humabon asked, "My Lord, what is the problem?" His adviser angrily pointed at the statue and answered, "That child! That naughty, naughty child! He played a prank on me! Then he started dancing around the room and taunting me!" The adviser was completely oblivious to the fact he was miraculously healed. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For me, that describes the seamless transition to Christianity. </div>
quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-37430730356597600412013-08-04T00:56:00.001+08:002013-08-04T00:59:03.628+08:00On the Christian hopeThe most stirringly beautiful declarations of faith and hope are the anthems appointed for Christian funerals and burials in the <i>US Book of Common Prayer 1979</i>.<br />
<br />
<b>At the church:</b><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I am Resurrection and I am Life, says the Lord.<br />
Whoever has faith in me shall have life,<br />
even though he die.<br />
And everyone who has life,<br />
and has committed himself to me in faith,<br />
shall not die for ever.<br />
<br />
As for me, I know that my Redeemer lives<br />
and that at the last he will stand upon the earth.<br />
After my awaking, he will raise me up;<br />
and in my body I shall see God.<br />
I myself shall see, and my eyes behold him<br />
who is my friend and not a stranger.<br />
<br />
For none of us has life in himself,<br />
and none becomes his own master when he dies.<br />
For if we have life, we are alive in the Lord,<br />
and if we die, we die in the Lord.<br />
So, then, whether we live or die,<br />
we are the Lord's possession. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Happy from now on<br />
are those who die in the Lord!<br />
So it is, says the Spirit,<br />
for they rest from their labours. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
(pages 491-492)</blockquote>
<b>On leaving the church:</b><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Christ is risen from the dead,<br />
trampling down death by death,<br />
and giving life to those in the tomb.<br />
<br />
The Sun of Righteousness is gloriously risen,<br />
giving light to those who sat in darkness<br />
and in the shadow of death.<br />
<br />
The Lord will guide our feet into the way of peace,<br />
having taken away the sin of the world.<br />
<br />
Christ will open the kingdom of heaven<br />
to all who believe in his Name, saying,<br />
Come, O blessed of my Father;<br />
inherit the kingdom prepared for you.<br />
<br />
Into paradise may the angels lead you.<br />
At your coming may the martyrs receive you,<br />
and bring you into the holy city Jerusalem.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
(page 500)</blockquote>
<b>At the grave:</b><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Everyone the Father gives to me will come to me;<br />
I will never turn away anyone who believes in me.<br />
<br />
He who raised Jesus Christ from the dead<br />
will also give new life to our mortal bodies<br />
through his indwelling Spirit.<br />
<br />
My heart, therefore, is glad, and my spirit rejoices;<br />
my body also shall rest in hope.<br />
<br />
You will show me the path of life;<br />
in your presence there is fulness of joy,<br />
and in your right hand are pleasures for evermore. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
(page 501) </blockquote>
These are texts every Episcopalian should be familiar with. They're very comforting when in a transitive process. Life is a constant funeral, and I don't mean that in a depressingly negative sense. Our lives are a cycle of dying and being made new. At times and in all places, we joyfully look to the Resurrection of Jesus with hope.<br />
<br />
I'm going to toe the official line, and reference the Catechism of the Episcopal Church found in <i>The Book of Common Prayer:</i><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Q. What is the Christian hope?<br />
A. The Christian hope is to live with confidence in newness and fulness of life, and to await the coming of Christ in glory, and the completion of God's purpose for the world.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Q. What, then, is our assurance as Christians?<br />
A. Our assurance as Christians is that nothing, not even death, shall separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
(page 862)</blockquote>
I really believe this is how we ought to live life: Hopefully, with this assurance that nothing can separate us from God's love. We rest in that love in life, in death, and in life beyond death.<br />
<br />
To God we belong, and to God we shall return. God is our constant refuge and strength now and unto eternity. Blessed be the Name of the Lord. <i>Saranam</i>.quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-87205909355319408732013-08-03T17:37:00.000+08:002013-08-03T17:37:58.933+08:00Come, come ye saints<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Come, come, ye saints, no toil nor labour fear;<br />But with joy wend your way.<br />Though hard to you this journey may appear,<br />Grace shall be as your day.<br />'Tis better far for us to strive<br />Our useless cares from us to drive;<br />Do this, and joy your hearts will swell -<br />All is well! All is well! </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Why should we mourn or think our lot is hard?<br />'Tis not so; all is right.<br />Why should we think to earn a great reward<br />If we now shun the fight?<br />Gird up your loins; fresh courage take.<br />Our God will never us forsake;<br />And soon we'll have this tale to tell - <br />All is well! All is well! </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
We'll find the place which God for us prepared,<br />In his house full of light,<br />Where none shall come to hurt or make afraid;<br />There the saints will shine bright.<br />We'll make the air with music ring,<br />Shout praises to our God and King;<br />Above the rest these words we’ll tell,<br />All is well! All is well! </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 19.187503814697266px;"></span>And should we die befo</span>re our journey's through,<br />Happy day! All is well!<br />We then are free from toil and sorrow, too;<br />With the just we shall dwell!<br />But if our lives are spared again<br />To see the saints their rest obtain,<br />Oh, how we'll make this chorus swell-<br />All is well! All is well! </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 19.187503814697266px;">- William Clayton (</span><span style="line-height: 19.187503814697266px;">1814 – 1879), third stanza edited by </span><span style="line-height: 19.187503814697266px;">Avis B. Christianson </span><span style="background-color: transparent; line-height: 19.1875px;">1895</span><span style="line-height: 19.1875px;"> – </span><span style="background-color: transparent; line-height: 19.1875px;">1985)</span></span></blockquote>
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/5iVwOhtAQyM" width="560"></iframe><br />
<br />
<h1 class="yt" id="watch-headline-title" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 13px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; text-overflow: ellipsis; word-wrap: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small; white-space: nowrap;"><span class="watch-title long-title yt-uix-expander-head" dir="ltr" id="eow-title" style="-webkit-user-select: auto; border: 0px; cursor: pointer; letter-spacing: -0.05em; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" title="Steven Sharp Nelson - Come, Come, Ye Saints with the Lyceum Music Festival Orchestra 7/30/11">Steven Sharp Nelson - <i>Come, come ye saints</i> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="white-space: nowrap;">with the Lyceum Music Festival Orchestra</span></span></h1>
quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-324302158763010412013-08-03T04:30:00.000+08:002013-12-11T05:50:24.133+08:00My Song is Love Unknown: On mean Christians<div class="MsoNormal">
There comes a point when you aren’t as stupid as
before. Your eyes and ears are opened,
and you can finally see, hear, and understand the truth. Suddenly you see the subtle
insults, the lies, the schemes, and so forth. It’s very depressing and sad.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>What blinded you to this? It was love. And love covers a
multitude of sins.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
It’s a harsh truth, but nonetheless a fact of life: Some people,
despite their membership in the Church, are just assholes. <br />
<br />
Not just assholes, but mean, cruel, bitchy people who will take any chance to
tear you down. They are hellbent on ripping you to shreds and trampling down any ounce of self-esteem you might have.<br />
<br />
There are two options that many people take: To absorb the abuse, or to ignore
it. You can take it unto yourself and define yourself by their standards. You
can also simply ignore it, frankly not give a damn, return evil for evil, and
probably end up the same way – cold-hearted, mean, and uncharitable.<br />
<br />
These are two temptations anyone can succumb to. But there is a third way, a
way that neither absorbs the abuse nor ignores the hurt it causes. It is a
middle way, a <i>via media</i> that is not just an Anglican way, but the Christian
thing to do: You can take and regard this water, then turn it
into Gospel wine. <br />
<br />
It’s not just a matter of blessing those who curse you nor turning the other
cheek. That’s too passive. It is a challenge to take an imperfect offering and
turn it into grace. To regard something hurtful to yourself with such love,
compassion, and truth is a very difficult thing to do. It takes inner strength
and patience to do this. Only the Holy Spirit can you give you these gifts through
Christ.<br />
<br />
“Regard not our sins, but the faith of your Church” the American Prayerbook (page
395) says. I find it difficult sometimes
to see these persons not as jerks, but as people who are struggling and frail
like me. God loves them too. They may do well to hide it or make me feel less
than a beloved child of God, but we are nevertheless sinners at the hands of
a merciful and loving God. A good God who gives us grace we do not deserve nor
earn. A God who continually forgives us. A God who takes our water – our sins, our lies, our bullshit – and turns
it into grace, a wine of incomparable vintage and quality. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I pray for the grace not to absorb another’s sin, but to
regard it with love, compassion, and understanding. And I pray to turn it into
something that will be beneficial to themselves. Much of the time, these are
cries simply to be loved, understood, and validated. I can get angry, very
angry, and often I may act brashly. Nevertheless, I repent and I will try
again. This is part of my Baptismal Covenant: When I fall into sin, to repent and return to the Lord.<br />
<br />
There is an old custom that when someone exclaims using the name of God, the
listener should say “have mercy”. This is to turn an exclamation into a prayer,
so that the other person does not sin. <br />
<br />
<i>
Would to God that we provide a mantle for those naked, and clothe them with
dignity. </i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Continue loving them, even if they do not deserve it. God
did. Sometimes, we may have to cover them with ourselves or even with the sacrifice
of ourselves. This is redemption. Buying
back for God that which is truly at fault.<br />
<br />
And mind you, it's a tough challenge to unconditionally love them and not to let them pull you down, <i><b>at the same time</b></i>. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It takes guts to love the unlovable. But don’t love them
because you have to; love them because you do truly love them. Often, it’s a parent’s love that can love
despite the ingratitude and wrongdoing of children. It’s a parent who sees only
their child, and not rules broken, nor their child's failures in life. It’s a parent
who loves their child nevertheless. And it is a parent that will do anything to redeem their child at personal cost, even if the child fights back.<br />
<br />
God is our Father-Mother and loves us as beloved children. Can we as the Church
truly love others as God loves us? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Samuel Crossman wrote this hymn in 1664:</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
My song is love unknown,<br />
My Saviour’s love to me;<br />
Love to the loveless shown,<br />
That they might lovely be.<br />
O who am I, that for my sake<br />
My Lord should take frail flesh and die? </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
He came from his blest throne<br />
Salvation to bestow;<br />
But men made strange, and none<br />
The longed-for Christ would know:<br />
But O! my Friend, my Friend indeed,<br />
Who at my need his life did spend. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Sometimes they strew his way,<br />
And his sweet praises sing;<br />
Resounding all the day<br />
Hosannas to their King:<br />
Then “Crucify!” is all their breath,<br />
And for his death they thirst and cry. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Why, what hath my Lord done?<br />
What makes this rage and spite?<br />
He made the lame to run,<br />
He gave the blind their sight,<br />
Sweet injuries! Yet they at these<br />
Themselves displease, and ’gainst him rise. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
They rise and needs will have<br />
My dear Lord made away;<br />
A murderer they save,<br />
The Prince of life they slay,<br />
Yet cheerful he to suffering goes,<br />
That he his foes from thence might free. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Here might I stay and sing,<br />
No story so divine;<br />
Never was love, dear King!<br />
Never was grief like thine.<br />
This is my Friend, in whose sweet praise<br />
I all my days could gladly spend.</blockquote>
We need each other. God grant me grace, and may I give grace to others, in
Christ’s name. Amen.<o:p></o:p>quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-4474127808245872222013-07-31T00:45:00.001+08:002013-07-31T00:45:14.445+08:00<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the universe, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have come to fullness in him, who is the head of every ruler and authority. In him also you were circumcised with a spiritual circumcision, by putting off the body of the flesh in the circumcision of Christ; when you were buried with him in baptism, you were also raised with him through faith in the power of God, who raised him from the dead. And when you were dead in trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive together with him, when he forgave us all our trespasses, erasing the record that stood against us with its legal demands. He set this aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and made a public example of them, triumphing over them in it."</blockquote>
</blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
- Colossians 2:6-15 NRSV</blockquote>
<br />___________________________________________<br />
<br />
<i>The New Revised Standard Version (Anglicized Edition)</i>, copyright 1989, 1995 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-69096286314919815892013-07-30T21:46:00.000+08:002013-08-01T00:54:07.557+08:00An Order for the Renewing of the Baptismal Covenant within a Service of the Word [and Sacrament]<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>For use outside of
Lent and Easter. The proper liturgy for persons reaffirming baptismal vows may
be found on page 413 of the </i>US<i> </i>Book
of Common Prayer 1979<i>, or page 139 of the
</i>US<i> </i>Book of Occasional Services
2003. <i>You may purchase the</i> US Book of
Occasional Services <i>at this<a href="https://www.churchpublishing.org/products/index.cfm?fuseaction=productDetail&productID=143"> page</a></i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Instead of devising a
completely new rite, I have used collects and prayers from the </i>US Book of Common
Prayer 1979<i>. The Prayerbook is a rich resource that can be creatively used or
adapted for many occasions. <br />
<br />
The collect is from the Easter Vigil. The first introduction to the Baptismal
Covenant is based on the Prayerbook catechism, and the second introduction is
from the Easter Vigil. The communal prayers after the renewal of the baptismal
vows are respectively found in the Prayers and Thanksgivings and in the Confirmation
rite. The ending collect is a reworking of the collect at Confirmation. The post-communion thanksgiving is based on forms found on pages 402-405 of the </i>US
Book of Common Prayer 1979<i>.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>This rite is
especially appropriate when a congregation or worshipping community desires to
renew their Baptismal Covenant and rededicate themselves to the mission of the
Church, outside of the rites of Holy Baptism, Confirmation, and Reaffirmation.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>THE ORDER OF SERVICE</b></div>
<b>
</b><i>
<br />
All stand. A hymn may be sung. <o:p></o:p></i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The Celebrant says</i><br />
<br />
Blessed be God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.<br />
<b>And blessed be his kingdom, now and for
ever. Amen.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
There is one Body and one Spirit;<br />
<b>There is one hope in God's call to us;</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
One Lord, one Faith, one Baptism;<br />
<b>One God and Father of all.</b><br />
<br />
The Lord be with you.<br />
<b>And also with you.</b><br />
<br />
Let us pray.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>THE COLLECT</b></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Almighty and everlasting God, who in the Paschal mystery
established the new covenant of reconciliation: Grant that all who are reborn
into the fellowship of Christ's Body may show forth in their lives what they
profess by their faith; through Jesus Christ our Lord. <b>Amen.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>THE LESSONS<o:p></o:p></b></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The people sit. </i><i>Any of the readings
appointed for Baptism, Confirmation, or the Easter Vigil may be used. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>THE SERMON</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>THE RENEWAL OF THE BAPTISMAL COVENANT</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The people stand. The
Celebrant introduces the renewal of the Baptismal Covenant with these or
similar words.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Beloved in the Lord: Our Saviour Christ said, “You shall love the Lord your God
with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the
first and great commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your
neighbour as yourself.” Christ also gave us the New Commandment that we love
one another as he loved us.<br />
<br />
In our Baptismal Covenant, Christ commands us to believe in him and to keep his
commandments. Our love for the Triune God is our creed, and our love of
neighbour is what we promise. This New Covenant, sealed with blood on the Cross,
is the new relationship with God given by Jesus Christ, the Messiah, to the
apostles; and, through them, to all who believe in him. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Christ promised to bring us into the kingdom of God and give
life in all its fullness. Let us respond to God in faith, and renew our Baptismal
Covenant. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>or this<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Through the Paschal mystery, dear friends, we are buried
with Christ by Baptism into his death, and raised with him to newness of life.
I call upon you, therefore, to renew the solemn promises and vows of Holy
Baptism, by which we renounced Satan and all his works, and promised to serve
God faithfully in his holy Catholic Church.<br />
<br />
<i>or this</i><br />
<br />
Dear friends in Christ, let us renew our Baptismal Covenant. <br />
<br />
Do you believe in God the Father?<br />
<b>I believe in God, the Father almighty,<br />
creator of heaven and earth.</b><i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do you believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God?<br />
<b>I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son,
our Lord.<br />
He was conceived by the power of Holy Spirit,<br />
born of the Virgin Mary,<br />
suffered under Pontius Pilate,<br />
was crucified, died, and was buried;<br />
he descended to the dead.<br />
On the third day he rose again;<br />
he ascended into heaven,<br />
he is seated at the right hand of the Father,<br />
and he will come to judge the living and the dead.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do you believe in the Holy Spirit?<br />
<b>I believe in the Holy Spirit,<br />
the holy catholic Church,<br />
the communion of saints,<br />
the forgiveness of sins,<br />
the resurrection of the body,<br />
and the life everlasting.</b><br />
<b>Amen.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Will you continue in the apostles' teaching and fellowship, <br />
in the breaking of bread, and in the prayers?<br />
<b>I will, with God's help.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Will you persevere in resisting evil, <br />
and, whenever you fall into sin, repent and return to the Lord?<br />
<b>I will, with God's help.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Will you proclaim by word and example the Good News of God
in Christ?<br />
<b>I will, with God's help.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Will you seek and serve Christ in all persons, <br />
loving your neighbour as yourself?<br />
<b>I will, with God's help.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Will you strive for justice and peace among all people, <br />
and respect the dignity of every human being? <br />
<b>I will, with God's help.</b><br />
<br />
<i>Canadian Anglicans may add Resolution
C001 to the Baptismal Covenant, found <a href="http://jointassembly.ca/delegates/acc/cc/resolutions/c001">here</a>.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>THE SPRINKLING WITH
HOLY WATER</b></div>
<i>
<br />
The Celebrant sprinkles the people with an aspergil or a sprig. A psalm or
canticle is said with the antiphon and the </i>Gloria Patri<i>.<br />
<br />
</i><b>Antiphon: Vidi aquam<br />
</b>(<i>This is a placeholder; the
authorized text for the</i> Vidi aquam <i>is
found on page 47 of the</i> US Book of Occasional Services.)<b> <br />
<br />
</b>I saw water flowing from the temple, on the right side, alleluia: <br />
And all to whom that water came have been saved, and they will say, alleluia.<i><br />
<br />
</i><b>Psalm:</b> 51, 114, or 118.<i> <br />
<br />
</i><b>Canticle:</b> The Song of Moses, the
First Song of Isaiah, the Second Song of Isaiah, the Third Song of Isaiah, the
Song of Mary, the Song of Zachariah, a Song to the Lamb, or the Song of the
Redeemed.<i><o:p></o:p></i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit;
*<br />
As it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The Celebrant says<br />
</i><br />
<br />
Let us pray together.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Almighty and eternal
God, <br />
so draw our hearts to you, so guide our minds, <br />
so fill our imaginations, so control our wills, <br />
that we may be wholly yours, <br />
utterly dedicated to you; <br />
and then use us, we pray, as you will, <br />
and always to your glory and the welfare of your people; <br />
through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Amen.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Or this</i><br />
<br />
<b>Sustain us, O Lord, in your Holy Spirit.
<br />
Give us inquiring and discerning hearts, <br />
the courage to will and to persevere, <br />
a spirit to know and to love you, <br />
and the gift of joy and wonder in all your works. Amen.</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The Celebrant
concludes</i><br />
<br />
May Almighty God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has given us a new
birth by water and the Holy Spirit, and bestowed upon us the forgiveness of
sins, keep us in eternal life by his grace, in Christ Jesus our Lord. <b>Amen.</b> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>THE LITANY FOR THE
MISSION OF THE CHURCH,</b>
<b></b><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><b>OR THE LITANY FOR THE FOUNDATION OF A CHURCH</b></b></div>
<b>
</b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
(<i>Found in the</i> US Book of Occasional
Services <i>on pages 246-248 or 214-216.
Once again, you must purchase the book at <a href="https://www.churchpublishing.org/products/index.cfm?fuseaction=productDetail&productID=143">this site</a></i>.)</div>
<i></i><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><i>If no Eucharist follows, the Lord’s
Prayer is said here.</i></i></div>
<i>
</i>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>THE ENDING COLLECT AT
THE PRAYERS</b></div>
(<i>Any of the collects and prayers
found on pages 249-250 of the </i>US Book of Occasional Services<i> may be used instead.</i>)<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Almighty God, we thank you that by the death and
resurrection of your Son Jesus you have overcome sin and brought us to yourself,
and that by the sealing of your Holy Spirit you have bound us in your service.
Renew in us the covenant you made with us at our Baptism. Send us in the power
of that Spirit to perform the service you set before us; through Jesus Christ
your Son our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God,
now and for ever. <b>Amen.</b><br />
<br />
<i>If there is a Eucharist, the Peace is exchanged here. </i><i> If no Eucharist follows, end with the blessing or the Grace.</i></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>AT THE PREPARATION OF
THE TABLE</b></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>The Celebrant takes the offerings of the
People, saying</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
All things come from you, O Lord;</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>And of your own we give you.</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Almighty God, you have placed in the skies the sign of your covenant with all
living things: Grant that we, who are saved through water and the Spirit, may
worthily offer to you our sacrifice of thanksgiving; through Jesus Christ our
Lord. <b>Amen.</b> </div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>The Liturgy continues with the Liturgy of the Eucharist.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<i>
</i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><i>PREFACE OF GOD THE HOLY SPIRIT, THE DEDICATION OF A CHURCH, OR BAPTISM</i></i></div>
<i>
</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>THE POST-COMMUNION
THANKSGIVING</b></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>All stand. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Let us pray.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Gracious God, we thank you for feeding us</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>with the Sacrament of the Body and Blood </b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>of your Son our Saviour Jesus Christ,</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>and for ratifying the Covenant we renew <i>today</i>. </b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Gather us by this Holy Communion </b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>into one body, a sacrifice of praise in Christ;</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>and grant that we who have eaten this bread </b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>and drunk of this cup </b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>may be filled with your life and goodness,</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.</b></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>THE BLESSING</b></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
The Lord be with you.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>And also with you.</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The God of peace, who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus Christ, the
great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the eternal covenant: Make you
perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is well-pleasing
in his sight; through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever; and the
blessing of God Almighty, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit be with you
and remain with you always. <b>Amen.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>THE DISMISSAL<o:p></o:p></b></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>The Deacon, or the
Celebrant, dismisses them with these words<o:p></o:p></i></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Let us go forth in the name of Christ.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Thanks be to God.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>or this<o:p></o:p></i></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Thanks be to God.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>or this<o:p></o:p></i></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Let us go forth into the world,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
rejoicing in the power of the Spirit.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Thanks be to God.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>A hymn may be sung.</i></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong style="color: #444444; line-height: 22px; text-align: center;">Joshua Ligan 2013.</strong><br />
<a data-mce-href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.5/" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.5/" rel="license" style="color: #333333; line-height: 22px; text-align: center;"><img alt="Creative Commons License" data-mce-src="http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nc/2.5/88x31.png" data-mce-style="border-width: 0;" src="http://i.creativecommons.org/l/by-nc/2.5/88x31.png" style="border: 0px; cursor: default; margin: 0px;" /></a><br />
<span data-mce-style="font-size: 85%;" style="color: inherit; line-height: 22px; text-align: center;">This work is licensed under a </span><a data-mce-href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.5/" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.5/" rel="license" style="color: #333333; line-height: 22px; text-align: center;"><span data-mce-style="font-size: 85%;" style="color: inherit;">Creative Commons Licence</span></a><span data-mce-style="font-size: 85%;" style="color: inherit; line-height: 22px; text-align: center;"><span data-mce-style="font-size: 85%;" style="color: inherit;">. You are free to share, copy, distribute, display, and perform the work; or to make derivative works, provided that you attribute the work in the manner specified by the author or licensor. You may not use this work for commercial purposes</span>.</span></div>
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quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-52670416046331623002013-07-30T00:45:00.000+08:002013-07-31T02:17:13.454+08:00Desert places: On being in the PhilippinesLast March, I left a job I worked at for four years. I got a new job with the promise of becoming an apprentice for a coveted position, but I also left that job also in July of that same year.<br />
<br />
I became very ill, and doctors weren’t sure what it was. I left the place I rented and temporarily stayed with an uncle and aunt. I was stressed, uncertain about the future and felt as if everything had been taken out from underneath me.<br />
<br />
My parents reacquired their Philippine citizenship a few years back and returned to their homeland. I thought I could stay with them for a few months to reflect on my life, despite the humiliation of becoming a "boomeranger". It was blow to my confidence and self-esteem.<br />
<br />
So last October, I left the United States to “repair unto” the Shrine of Our Lady of Walsingham in England. After several days there, I spent time with family in London, and then made the long journey to the Philippines via Mumbai and Hong Kong.<br />
<br />
I spoke with one of the spiritual directors at Walsingham. He was indeed quite helpful with his reassurance, but he didn’t give me the direction and counsel I wanted. <br />
<br />
I also prayed before the Shrine of St. Edward the Confessor at Westminster Abbey, and even there, I received no answer.<br />
<br />
Whilst in England, I expected thunderbolts from heaven and a dazzling array of signs, or perhaps a miracle <i>ex nihilo</i>. Trumpet blasts, rose petals falling, or perhaps crying statues.<br />
<br />
Needless to say, it didn't quite happen that way. And I didn't really expect some sort of supernatural manifestation or a spectacular display of divine power. I wanted revelation in the midst of my uncertainties. I wanted love, healing, and a future. Instead, I got a process.<br />
<br />
Upon the leaving the hospitality of the United Kingdom, I would begin a painful process of learning and reconciling. A purifying fire, so to speak.<br />
<br />
I'm still in the process of discovering that God is also a potter who beats a lump of clay to make it pliable for use. God is also a God who sometimes dashes our porcelain cup on the ground, then binds the pieces together to mend it.<br />
<br />
I had left the United States, where I was born and brought up, to slowly dismantle my comfort zone. To be frank, I left my own country to go crazy and let myself go.<br />
<br />
Here in provincial Cebu, I feel terribly foreign. Although my parents live on the main thoroughfare, we are stuck in the back of beyond, surrounded by mountains, the shore, rice paddies, and lots of goats, chickens, and stray dogs. I grew up in the suburbs and lived in San Francisco for a few years, so this is very different indeed.<br />
<br />
Yet in this place I've begun defining who I am. I've also begun to cherish and appreciate things I took for granted. English programming on TV and English-language radio have become very precious to me. I haven’t been to an Anglican Eucharist since last October, and so the Anglican liturgy has also become very precious. The nearest Episcopal church is two hours and thirty minutes away.<br />
<br />
The scary thing is that when I do go to the city, I find that so-called “civilization” feels so unreal now. It is terribly disconcerting. I might find it a bit savage.<br />
<br />
I’d like to believe this is all for a reason. Perhaps it is. Perhaps this is just the universe working itself out. I’m not entirely sure. I can only trust somehow that I am being held by love even as I am so far from home... <i>wherever home is now. </i><br />
<br />
During droughts, we begin to ask ourselves why we didn’t appreciate these things before. When we had it all, why we didn’t we grasp the opportunity to live life, and to share light and love with others? What was there to complain, whine, and mope about when life wasn’t like what it is now?<br />
<br />
I’ve realized, like many people who come from the First World, that I am a spoiled brat.<br />
<br />
This drought, although it is something I resented at first, is something I need. We all need these Lenten moments, even toward the end of July. It is a desert we go through to understand where the Spirit is calling us. This process renews our minds, and helps us to live into the answers. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not particularly pleased about being here. But I know this is changing me for the better.<br />
<br />
I don’t think we understand what Good News is until we find ourselves deep in the mire that we have accumulated over the years. It’s not until we sink in quicksand that we realize the value of a helping hand.<br />
<br />
The Psalmist writes:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I waited patiently for the Lord;<br />
he inclined to me and heard my cry.<br />
He drew me up from the desolate pit,<br />
out of the miry bog,<br />
and set my feet upon a rock,<br />
making my steps secure.<br />
He put a new song in my mouth,<br />
a song of praise to our God.<br />
Many will see and fear,<br />
and put their trust in the Lord. (Psalm 40:1-3 NRSV*)</blockquote>
This journey of discovery as an American, as an Episcopalian, as a gay man, and as someone of mixed-race Filipino ancestry is not over. I’m finding out truths about myself I hadn’t discovered before.<br />
<br />
John Henry Newman wrote this hymn:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Lead, Kindly Light, amidst th'encircling gloom,<br />
Lead thou me on!<br />
The night is dark, and I am far from home,<br />
Lead thou me on!<br />
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see<br />
The distant scene; one step enough for me. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I was not ever thus, nor prayed that thou<br />
Shouldst lead me on;<br />
I loved to choose and see my path; but now<br />
Lead thou me on!<br />
I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,<br />
Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years! </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
So long thy power hath blest me, sure it still<br />
Will lead me on.<br />
O'er moor and fen, o'er crag and torrent, till<br />
The night is gone,<br />
And with the morn those angel faces smile,<br />
Which I have loved long since, and lost awhile! </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Meantime, along the narrow rugged path,<br />
Thyself hast trod,<br />
Lead, Saviour, lead me home in childlike faith,<br />
Home to my God.<br />
To rest forever after earthly strife<br />
In the calm light of everlasting life.</blockquote>
And so it is. Living our Baptismal Covenant also requires us to leave our secure castles and to seek God in the wilderness, sometimes in search of a guiding star. In life, we will face these dry seasons. These moments circumcise our hearts with such authenticity and integrity. The wounds, the nails, the spear, the whip, and the gall become real. It hurts, it's painful, and it wrings us out. Oh, do those moments shake us up! It’s a process of becoming real and being genuine. It is Confirmation. These are confirming moments heavily laden with such powerful imagery - rebirth, death, earthquakes, mountains, fire, water, wind, Lent, Advent, the Crucifixion, the Incarnation, the Hypostatic Union, Easter, the Transfiguration, and the Epiphany.<br />
<br />
At Baptism, God calls us from death into life, and we respond in faith. At Confirmation, God invites us to journey with him, to follow Jesus. The <i>epiklesis </i>of Baptism becomes at Confirmation an invitation to be broken and poured out for the life of the world. We who are Christ's Body are invited to share Christ's Blood: To give and share of ourselves.<br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who awaits us in the desert places. It is there that she relentlessly pursues us.<br />
<br />
And she who is God tenderly asks those questions again:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Will you continue in the apostles' teaching and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in the prayers? </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Will you persevere in resisting evil, and, whenever you fall into sin, repent and return to the Lord? </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Will you proclaim by word and example the Good News of God in Christ? </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Will you seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving your neighbour as yourself? </i></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Will you strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being? </i></blockquote>
And all she needs is your “yes”, your <i>fiat</i>, and your “amen”.<br />
<br />
And the Spirit will renew that sevenfold gift within you.<br />
<br />
For myself, I pray:<br />
<br />
“Behold the servant of the Lord, be it done to me according to your word.”<br />
<br />
Yes, <i>fiat</i>, and amen. <br />
<br />
Triune God, I trust in your gracious love. Reconcile me to yourself and make all things new. <i>Saranam.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i>_________________________________________<br /><br />*The New Revised Standard Version (Anglicized Edition)</i>, copyright 1989, 1995 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-53755628417273733512013-07-29T12:15:00.000+08:002013-07-30T21:39:37.786+08:00Pinocchio <div class="tr_bq">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/cssDCOSd8jg" width="560"></iframe></div>
<br />
Corrinne May singing her song <i>Pinocchio</i>. Lyrics may be found <a href="http://corrinnemay.com/go/lyrics?id=957760">here</a>.<br />
<br />
Dear God, please find me. Amen.<br />
<blockquote>
Almighty and most merciful father,<br />
we have erred and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep,<br />
we have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts,<br />
we have offended against thy holy laws,<br />
we have left undone those things which we ought to have done,<br />
and we have done those things which we ought not to have done,<br />
and there is no health in us.<br />
But thou, O Lord, have mercy upon us,<br />
miserable offenders.<br />
Spare thou those who confess their faults,<br />
restore thou those who are penitent,<br />
according to thy promises declared unto mankind<br />
in Christ Jesus our Lord;<br />
and grant, O most merciful Father, for his sake,<br />
that we may hereafter live a godly, righteous, and sober life,<br />
to the glory of thy holy Name. Amen. </blockquote>
<blockquote>
-<i>The Book of Common Prayer </i>according to the use of the Episcopal Church, 1928</blockquote>
quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-19477931229601266272013-07-27T05:33:00.004+08:002017-02-23T14:34:07.044+08:00Petites prièresI repent! I totally take back what I said in my previous blog post. I'm going to continue posting. It's my blog.<br />
<br />
<b>Word of caution:</b> <i>My views are <u>personal</u>. They<u> do not</u> represent the Episcopal Church in any official capacity, nor do all Episcopalians and Anglicans agree with me. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
That said, here's a few free-form "little prayers" I've been dabbling with over the past two days.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br />1</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Help me, gracious Redeemer, to trust you <br />
when I am lost to fear and uncertainty,<br />
when I am too keen to fight back, <br />
and when my cup shatters into pieces:<br />
Find me where I am, and uplift me by your Spirit,<br />
that I may know the strength of your presence,<br />
and dwell within your peace.<br />
Gather my broken pieces, and make me new,<br />
filling my heart with a lasting joy.<br />
Mother Jesus, hear me as I wait.<br />
Amen. Saranam.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>2</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gentle Spirit, brooding over the Creation,<br />
whisper to the wild waters of my soul.<br />
Grant me the ears to listen to your prompting.<br />
May my heart welcome what you say<br />
and receive the grace I need.<br />
By the prayers of Our Lady of Walsingham,<br />
work out your purpose in my life,<br />
and let there be light.<br />
Amen. <br />
<br />
<b>3</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Parent God, I call you by many names<br />
as I see you in the face of every human person:<br />
I invoke your light and love<br />
that dwells in every human heart<br />
to come forth and create <br />
a new world into being. <br />
Work within us more than we can ask or imagine<br />
through Christ in humankind.<br />
Umntu ngumntu ngabantu.<br />
Amen. <br />
<br />
<b>4</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where there are desert spaces,<br />
when I am in distant places,<br />
may I know Christ’s Spirit is there.<br />
Amen.<br />
<br />
<b>5</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Triune God, <br />
you surround me in the wonder and beauty<br />
of the universe, and in its intricate order.<br />
When the waters of my soul are stirred,<br />
and chaos gurgles on the face of the deep, <br />
draw me into the centre of your being,<br />
and enfold me in your grace.<br />
In moments like these,<br />
creating God, inspire me.<br />
Amen. <br />
<br />
<b>6</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I am tired and close my eyes,<br />
hold me to yourself, darling lover.<br />
Let me rest and listen to your heart.<br />
Keep me warm and safe. <br />
And when I awaken <br />
to experience the new mercies <br />
of another day,<br />
I know I shall see God in you.<br />
Amen. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>7</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Grandmothers and grandfathers of my heart,<br />
the ancient ones, my forebears,<br />
watch over me, your child.<br />
Enrich me, sustain me, and protect me.<br />
Stand by me, and speak to me of the God<br />
who is our refuge<br />
throughout the generations<br />
and in whom you dwell eternally in peace.<br />
Amen. <br />
<br />
<b>8</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Neighbour next door,<br />
neighbour across the street,<br />
neighbour on the street,<br />
neighbour to the back of my home,<br />
be all of you blessed this day.<br />
If we might see each other<br />
and say “hello” or “good day”<br />
please introduce me to Jesus in you.<br />
Amen. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>9</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Stray dog and stray cat,<br />
let me help find who loves you,<br />
and if need be, <br />
let me help you find love.<br />
Amen. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>10</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Twitter and Facebook,<br />
Google Mail and LinkedIn,<br />
Yahoo! and Youtube,<br />
Blogspot and Tumblr,<br />
Wordpress and MySpace,<br />
and news outlets I read,<br />
feed me with what nurtures my soul<br />
and engages my mind<br />
to seek justice and peace.<br />
Awaken compassion within me.<br />
Amen.<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br />
<!--[endif]--></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Copyright © 2013 Joshua Ligan.</div>
quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-73277634057681504602013-07-20T21:16:00.000+08:002013-07-22T02:13:27.110+08:00Effectively silencedAt first I wanted to sort this blog out and begin anew. But what's the point if I lack the knowledge, the intelligence, and the skills?<br />
<br />
I've decided to stop writing or speaking my mind. What else is there to say when others have me figured out? How can anyone take me seriously? I really have nothing to offer any of my readers but lies, false assertions, and fallacies. Some are out of ignorance, some are thoughtless or inconsiderate. Some are hastily said.<br />
<br />
My words are literally dissected and torn apart. Other times, I find myself beaten by a grammatical yardstick. (Mind you, English is my native language.) How some people speak, write, and reason with such exemplary grammar, logic, and rhetoric amaze me. I think I find myself more astonished not at the ability of others to reason well, but at my own stupidity, foolishness, and ignorance.<br />
<br />
I find myself somehow always on the wrong page, prone to failure, or saying the wrong thing. It makes me question if I even deserve that freedom to speak when I'm still sorting my thoughts out.<br />
<br />
I don't "know my shit". I don't have it all together. I can't cook or write to save my life, and I find that any attempt at doing so is meagre and lacklustre. I have no talent in doing so.<br />
<br />
So what now? I've been on this vacation so long without any clear direction in my life. Any confidence I once had in myself has been lost. I'm not good for anything or for people. With what can I rebuild my life when I have nothing I can do well?<br />
<br />
I can learn, but even with an education, I find myself too ready to disappoint. That is the truth. I apologize that I have proven myself unworthy of any task.quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-28696748912371807772013-07-18T13:11:00.003+08:002013-07-19T17:37:34.132+08:00Ecclesia semper reformanda est Over the next few days, Quaerite Dominum will be undergoing a major revamp. It's time. Some of my posts seem rather childish. With experience and further knowledge, our views change.<br />
<br />
Selected material will be transferred from my other blogs as well for the sake of consolidation.<br />
<br />
Thank you for your patience.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-75289505980882566522013-07-16T15:42:00.000+08:002017-11-08T14:09:46.515+08:00An Order for the Granting of Sanctuary or Refuge<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US"><i>This rite needs to be developed. Please contact me at </i><a href="mailto:chutneyoverrice@gmail.com" style="font-style: italic;">chutneyoverrice@gmail.com</a><i> for suggestions, feedback, and input. The concluding blessing is adapted from </i>The Book of Common Prayer 1979<i>. </i><br /><br /><i>The bishop and the
chancellor of the diocese are to be informed of all grants of sanctuary or
refuge. In accordance with ancient tradition, the candidate must be unarmed,
surrendering all weapons before entrance into the church. </i><br />
<br /><i>
It is preferable that the granting of sanctuary or refuge be witnessed by a
representative of the congregation. It is also preferred that the celebrant be
the vicar, rector, or priest-in-charge of the congregation, the dean of the
cathedral, or the bishop of the diocese. </i><br />
<br /><i>
The celebrant is vested with a stole. Psalms 46, 31, or 91 may be said with the
accompanying antiphon and the Gloria Patri.</i></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US"><b style="font-family: inherit;">ANTIPHON</b></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US">
</span><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US">The
Lord will be a refuge for the oppressed,<br />
a refuge in times of trouble.<i> </i></span><i><span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Kneeling within the
altar space or at the altar rails, the candidate requests sanctuary or refuge saying<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My
name is N., and I, for the love of God, seek sanctuary (refuge) within the
safety of this church.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The candidate may say
the Lord’s Prayer.<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The celebrant places
the ends of the stole over the candidate’s shoulders, saying<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">N.,
I welcome you to the safety of this holy place, and I declare you to be under
its protection, dignity, and peace; pledging to you the prayers, love, and
support of the clergy and congregation of (name of church), in the Name of the
Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. <b>Amen.</b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">A simple cross may be
hung over the neck of the person receiving sanctuary or refuge, or a cross may be
traced on the person’s forehead as a mark that the person is now under the
protection of the church, the celebrant saying<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Receive
the cross of Christ’s mighty protection, and take refuge in him who is the lover and friend of souls. <b>Amen.<o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The celebrant concludes<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The
Almighty Lord, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">who
is a strong tower to all <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">who
put their trust in him, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">to
whom all things in heaven, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">on
earth, and under the earth bow and obey: <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Be
now and evermore your defence,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">and
make you know and feel <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">that
the only Name under heaven <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">given
for life, health, refuge, and salvation <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">is
the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Amen.</b></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Peace may be
exchanged, or the Grace may be said.</span></span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: -webkit-center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong>Joshua Ligan 2013.</strong></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-8146035502629534992012-11-25T08:20:00.000+08:002016-04-21T12:53:11.578+08:00The mother you have forgottenI am the mother you have forgotten.<br />
<br />
I stand in the corner,<br />
my skin a deep brown,<br />
coloured with the soil of the country<br />
from whence your ancestors lived and died,<br />
toiled and fought, loved and made peace.<br />
<br />
Once they sang to me of their sorrows and joys,<br />
showered me with flowers,<br />
fanned me with coconut fronds,<br />
vested me with gold and embroidered cloth,<br />
honoured me with a sprinkling of water and turmeric,<br />
and waved flickering lamps before my face.<br />
<br />
I stood there in the temple<br />
with the strength of the banyan tree,<br />
the gentleness of water,<br />
and expansiveness of wind and sky. <br />
<br />
Hope filled their hearts as they gazed into my holy flame,<br />
my sacred flame,<br />
my creative flame,<br />
my purifying flame,<br />
my life-giving flame,<br />
my never-ending flame<br />
of love, renewal, and inspiration.<br />
<br />
Then the imams and friars came.<br />
They tore off my <i>tapis</i> and my headdress,<br />
ripped the gold and pearls off my neck,<br />
forced me to wear a veil and wimple,<br />
and covered my nurturing breasts.<br />
<br />
My flame was extinguished,<br />
and my children driven out of my temples and shrines.<br />
My sacred places flowed<br />
with the martyred blood of my <i>babaylans</i> and healers.<br />
My <i>diwatas</i> became demons,<br />
and my priestesses became witches.<br />
Gone were the rich perfumes and the incense of prayer,<br />
the garlands of sampaguita and ylang-ylang,<br />
but my mercy, protection, and healing power did not cease.<br />
<br />
They gave me a new face and a new name,<br />
a face that wasn’t my own,<br />
powdered with the muck of imitation and duplication,<br />
as my children began to believe<br />
that they were inferior subjects of a foreign king.<br />
<br />
But you called to me again and again,<br />
crying out to my new name in the rosary,<br />
raging against oppression and injustice,<br />
weeping for the children lost and exploited,<br />
the maidens raped,<br />
and the brothers slaughtered.<br />
<br />
You cried out to me as the soldiers of two kings,<br />
an emperor, and of a republic<br />
trampled on the holy soil of your nation.<br />
<br />
I have not forgotten you,<br />
nor have I abandoned you,<br />
but I have heard your every prayer,<br />
and held them closely to my heart.<br />
My abalone eyes have never ceased from watching you.<br />
<br />
I will deliver you from your fear,<br />
your anguish,<br />
and your misery.<br />
<br />
Take up my cause once again,<br />
of reconciliation and equanimity,<br />
of dignity and worth,<br />
of life and light,<br />
of righteousness and truth.<br />
<br />
Relight the wonder and beauty<br />
and look into my holy flame,<br />
opening your hearts to compassion,<br />
awakening to wisdom and hope,<br />
and showering me with flowers of your life’s virtues.<br />
<br />
Let them bloom as a testament and testimony to me,<br />
<br />
The mother you have forgotten.<br />
<br />
Copyright © Joshua Ligan 2012.quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-9430067756412883062012-10-10T09:12:00.000+08:002017-03-26T12:17:39.457+08:00My votive offering to Our Lady of Walsingham: A hymn presented at the Shrine ChurchIn the spirit of Erasmus, who presented a set of verses as a pilgrim to Walsingham, I composed this hymn and presented it to one of the brothers on my last visit to the Shrine Church in Walsingham today. It is sung to the tune of Parry’s “Jerusalem” .<br />
<br />
1.<br />
We are the water of this well;<br />
Simple and small our lives may be,<br />
but if we give to God our all<br />
Christ takes our lives for all to see:<br />
A miracle, a change divine,<br />
as it breaks through our lowly lives,<br />
as Mary bids her Son in prayer<br />
to change our water into wine!<br />
<br />
2.<br />
Make us God’s workshop, build us up,<br />
O chisel out our hearts of stone,<br />
then raise us up from death to life,<br />
with skill and virtues e’er to hone!<br />
Holding the Christ-light in our hands,<br />
let us go forth along the way<br />
of this Old England’s Nazareth<br />
across the dry and barren lands!<br />
<br />
3.<br />
Lead us from sorrow into joy,<br />
from lack to gain, from fear to love,<br />
and in our hearts a holy house,<br />
where dwells the Spirit from above!<br />
O holy Maid of Walsingham,<br />
tend to thy children near and far,<br />
lead us to thine own holy Child,<br />
Emmanuel, the great “I AM”!<br />
<br />
4.<br />
Wake from thy slumber, Virgin Church,<br />
open thy heart to God’s own grace,<br />
In Mary, Christ gives us his hand,<br />
to save our fallen, broken race!<br />
No more in us, shall Adam die,<br />
but live in Christ, risen again;<br />
No more in us shall Eve despair,<br />
but unto Mary run and fly!<br />
<br />
Copyright © Joshua Ligan 2012.<br />
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quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-75457583477062749692012-08-30T18:14:00.000+08:002013-07-18T18:17:19.282+08:00<blockquote class="tr_bq">
“The central truth about God is the assertion of His love. His love is not limited to time. It is a part of His eternal Being, existing, real, active, before the work of creation began. Through eternity the life of Father, Son, and Holy Ghost has been. The love of the Father for the Son, of the Son for the Father, of the Father and the Son for the Holy Ghost, of the Holy Ghost for the Father and the Son, had no beginning, as it will have no end. The doctrine of the Holy Trinity—of the three Persons who are one God—was seen by the Church to be necessarily implied in the teaching of Holy Scripture, and was made part of the constant message of Christian truth. In their emphasis on this doctrine Catholic theologians endeavoured to meet the deepest needs of Christian thought and devotion. For these needs cannot be satisfied save in the God who is eternal, in whose eternal Being there are the activities of life, and in whose life before as well as after creation is an abiding exercise of love. A theology which departs from the doctrine of the Holy Trinity, which Tractarian and Anglo-Catholic have received from the Universal Church, may have a temporary attraction; but its failure to satisfy the abiding demands of human thought and prayer deprives it of real and lasting value.”</blockquote>
-Darwell Stone, <a href="http://anglicanhistory.org/england/stone/faith/02.html"><i>The Faith of an English Catholic</i></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-49986321825042586722012-08-21T09:31:00.000+08:002018-01-10T01:50:02.661+08:00The night the wall came downThe night the wall came down<br />
he stood in front of me and called my name.<br />
<br />
“Come closer”, he said,<br />
beckoning, bidding me to draw near.<br />
<br />
He held a flickering candle in his hand<br />
that glowed more brilliantly<br />
than the light of a thousand suns.<br />
<br />
I stood there, paralyzed with fear,<br />
paralyzed after the shouts,<br />
the praise-songs,<br />
the cymbal-crashes,<br />
the blaring trumpets<br />
had shattered the silence I once knew.<br />
<br />
"Come closer”, he said,<br />
“I have come to liberate you”.<br />
<br />
Again, he beckoned to me,<br />
tenderly pleading my name.<br />
<br />
I looked around the vast, smoldering ruins<br />
of everything that I had built.<br />
Brick upon brick lay in the streets,<br />
mingled with faeces, urine, blood,<br />
and broken concrete.<br />
<br />
It was all gone, reduced to rubble,<br />
ashes, dust, flames, and destruction.<br />
<br />
<i>This was the cost of my liberation?</i><br />
<i>The sacrifice I had to make?</i><br />
<i>The price I had to pay?</i><br />
<br />
“Then I will come closer”, he said,<br />
“I will not hurt you.”<br />
<br />
He spoke my name.<br />
<br />
I stared at him blankly,<br />
as he stepped over where the wall once stood<br />
and drew closer to me.<br />
He covered me with his coat<br />
handed me the candle,<br />
and held me close.<br />
<br />
He whispered my name.<br />
<br />
I raised my head and looked at the stars.<br />
I turned to him,<br />
and shedding a tear,<br />
I said softly,<br />
ever so softly,<br />
piercing the quiet between us,<br />
“Please, sir, I’ve forgotten my name.”<br />
<br />
Copyright © 2012 Joshua Ligan.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38723352.post-38781828005669367332012-04-21T09:34:00.000+08:002013-12-11T06:41:16.775+08:00It's time<div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">
So I have made my decision.</div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">
I have decided to finish my education. It's been a long time since I've been back in college, but it's time. I'm not getting any younger. And this time, I'm serious about my education. I don't want to be left behind.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">
There are questions, however. How am I going to finance my education? I'm not making any money right now. What will I study? Where will I study? Things like that.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I could probably study a lot of things: English literature, Creative writing, Classics, World languages, History, and Theology. I'd love to study it all, haha. Dutch and Afrikaans would be nice too. I could learn Chinese or a South Asian language. I might even fulfil my mother's wishes and learn Spanish. But all of that sounds a bit greedy. And probably a bit expensive. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">
But what sort of job could I do with that? In the back of my mind, I always thought I'd end up a priest, a deacon, or somehow working within the church. <a href="http://quaeritedominum.blogspot.com/2007/06/on-becoming-priest.html">Quite frankly, the call, and not just any call, but the call to be a member of the clergy scares me. I'm terrified of that prospect. </a>Talk about total life change and commitment. You have to grow up, put yourself aside, deny yourself and follow Christ.</div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">
Does this mean that I'm too engrossed with myself?</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">
Besides with my wild past, I'm not entirely sure that any ordinations committee would be so pleased to see me. It would count as life experience, however.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">
Even if I were a priest or deacon, most Episcopal clergy in the United States have another job or experience in another field. It's the very reason why seminaries prefer that you have a BA in something else besides Theology, Philosophy, Religious Studies, or Divinity. Usually, you get a BA in something else before you get an M.Div. Episcopalians have a tradition of overeducated clergy. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">
There are loopholes, however. One could always go for a Scottish masters degree (which starts as an undergraduate degree) in divinity or theology. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">
I figure that if I do decide to become a priest or a deacon, I'd like something else to help support my call. Being a teacher or a writer perhaps. Even being a tour guide. I'd love to teach English in a foreign country, or write a book. English is my mother tongue after all, and it's a beautiful language.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">
But first things first. I need a degree. And to get a degree, I need money. So how exactly am I going to get the ball rolling?</div>
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<br /></div>
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Much prayers needed, thank you. And advice.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;">
And if I were to get a BA, it would be wonderful if I could do joint honours/double major along the lines of any of these combinations (depending on the college/uni, of course): English Literature and Creative Writing, English Studies, English and Afrikaans, English Literature and History, English and Classics, English and Theology, English and a modern language, what have you. It doesn't have to be any of those combinations - I could do History and African Studies or Hebrew and Middle Eastern Studies. So let's see what I can do. </div>
quaeritedominumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05844575704639821481noreply@blogger.com0