A Rite of Healing after Someone Has Ended a Relationship

This is a rite I created for someone who has been left brokenhearted after ending a relationship, based on rites from The Book of Common Prayer, 1979. If you have any suggestions for this rite, or if you actually used it, please leave a comment or e-mail me at chutneyoverrice@gmail.com.

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This anthem is said by the person alone.

In the midst of life, we are ever in transition:
All things flee as if a passing shadow,
and cannot endure forever.

God, you know the sorrows of our hearts:
Shut not your ears to our prayers,
but hear us, O Lord.

I have grown weary with my crying;
now God alone my soul in silence waits;
from him comes my salvation.

Holy God, Holy and Mighty, Holy Immortal One,
have mercy upon us.

The priest lightly touches the person’s cheek and says

Peace, be still before the Lord.

A period of silence is kept.

The priest then says

O God of grace and salvation,
look with pity upon the sorrows of your servant N.
Remember her, O Lord, in mercy,
nourish her soul with patience,
comfort her with a sense of your goodness,
lift up your face upon her, and give her peace;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Readings and psalms, such as that which may be found in the rites for Ministration for the Sick, or other readings, may be employed at the priest’s discretion. The priest may comment on the readings briefly.

If the person so desires, they may now open their grief in prayer or words.

The priest may offer comfort and counsel, and pray with the person.

The following anthem is said

O Blessed Redeemer,
who by your stripes and wounds have healed us,
be present and help us, we humbly pray, O Lord.

The priest then lays hands upon the person, and anoints the person’s forehead with holy oil, saying

N., I lay my hands upon you and anoint you with oil
in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,
beseeching our Lord Jesus Christ
to cast out all despair, to lift up your burdens,
to wipe away every tear,
and to fill you with that everlasting love and peace
which only he can give.

The priest may add

And as you are outwardly soothed with this holy oil,
so may our heavenly Father grant you
the inward balm of the Holy Spirit.
Of his great compassion,
may he heal your wounds,
renew in you his Spirit,
and grant you the courage to stand
in the day of trouble.
May he sweep away all darkness,
uphold you with his grace,
and gather you to his embrace;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.

The Lord’s Prayer may be said.

The person may pray one of the following prayers at the priest’s discretion

O God, by whom the meek are guided in judgment,
and light rises up in darkness for the godly:
Grant me, in all my doubts and uncertainties,
the grace to ask what you would have me to do,
that the Spirit of wisdom may save me from all false choices,
and that in your light I may see light,
and in your straight path may not stumble;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Or

O God of peace, who taught me
that in returning and rest I shall be saved,
in quietness and in confidence shall be my strength:
By the might of your Spirit lift me, I pray,
to your presence, where I may be still
and know that you are God;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen

Or

Go before me, O Lord, in all my doings
with your most gracious favour,
and further me with your continual help;
that in all my works begun, continued, and ended in you,
I may glorify your holy Name,
and finally, by your mercy,
obtain everlasting life;
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.

The priest gives the blessing
May God the Father bless you,
God the Son heal you, God
the Holy Spirit give you strength.
May God the holy and undivided Trinity
guard your body, save your soul,
and bring you safely to his heavenly country;
where he lives and reigns for ever and ever.
Amen.
The priest says

Let us bless the Lord.
Thanks be to God. [Alleluia, alleluia.]

Joshua Ligan 2007.

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